3 Key Lessons I’ve learned along the way of my Family’s Experience of Autism

Around 1% of our national population has been diagnosed with Autism. That’s over 700,000 stories in the UK experiencing the challenges (and the joy!) this can bring to a home.

This is my story too, with a very close family member of mine being diagnosed during my early teenage years and the pressure it brought into our home.

Out of respect for my family, I won’t share the finer details of our home, but I can assure you that there were sleepless nights, difficult conversations, and countless moments of feeling completely out of our depth.

During these experiences, the future seems mysterious and uncertain for families and most of all for the individuals involved. There is a lack of suitable support, endless bureaucracy, and this leads to emotional strain, building even bigger barriers.

I have seen the impact a professional and well-trained support system can provide for those with additional barriers and the opportunities this can provide.

Whilst 1% of our population is a neat and tidy statistic to tuck in our back pocket for later, that 1% is filled with hundreds of thousands of challenging human stories.

*Running the London Marathon to support Autism Charity, Mencap in 2023.*

These people are heroes in our community, both the individuals and their families, as they face their battles head on every day.

Over the past 14 years I have worked in a variety of roles which have supported individuals with complex barriers to live more independent purposeful lives. Ranging from working as a youth worker in schools with teens on the edge of exclusion, to volunteering with local special education Saturday groups and the Special Olympics, to operating as a support worker for adults with learning disabilities, to managing within a social enterprise providing work opportunities, and now having been an Employment Coach for the past 7.5 years coaching people in our community into paid employment.

My own experience and the subsequent years supporting people in my community has taught my three key lessons:

People are complex - Real life rarely offers fairytale endings. People will let you down one day and impress you the next. You will think you’ve overcome a barrier, just to discover a new one.

However, people are worth fighting for and I’ve seen hundreds of stories of people who have overcome setbacks and achieved true change.

Everyone is unique - The boxes we build to put people in are often the wrong size and shape and the labels we stick on people are misplaced! The most important part of my job as a coach is the relationship I build with the individual, understanding their background, their needs, and their story. Some clients need a more direct challenge and motivation, some need gentle reassurance and patience, and some just need support to find the next step to take.

With different childhoods, abilities, cultures, home lives, genetics, networks, opportunities, and education. No two people are the same.

We ALL need purpose - Meaning in people’s lives is not just important to us but it is important to everyone.

We provide safe and caring spaces for disadvantaged people in the UK and people dedicate their lives to this fantastic and essential work, but I fear sometimes we miss the special ingredient - PURPOSE.

Providing protection and care for people must be paired with purposeful opportunities to contribute.

These lessons and values are the building blocks of Fair Foundations’ DNA. We are all complex, unique, purpose-driven people and our services and support will always reflect that.

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